I wish I could teleport
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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