I'm jealous of your bromance
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
