I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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