It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
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He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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