So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
