i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
last night I used snow as a chaser
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
