just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
