YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
