this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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