she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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