Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
