I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
