You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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