I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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