the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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