I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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