She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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