CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
