I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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