coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
