I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
