The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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