I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The Olympian is in my bed
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
