I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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