honey bunches of taint.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
