That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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