So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize