THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
