The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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