keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
