sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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