apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
