Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
