Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
