is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.