I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.