What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?