I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck