Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
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I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
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My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.