I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
