She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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