I want to have your abortion
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The adults are the big ones right?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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