i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
did you just send me my own nude
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
