carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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