is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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