And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
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I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
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You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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