i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
