i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
