return my video game
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
