If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
