So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
