I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
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I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
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On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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