after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
