It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Houston, we have a squirter
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
