my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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