i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
