ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
