Pants 0. Shit 1.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
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We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
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I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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