Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize