Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
