The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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