Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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