I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
