You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
