i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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