you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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