i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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