went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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