i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
