Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
