a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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