ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
