I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
